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Updated: Dec 1, 2022

It is not easy to communicate when emotions are running high.

We need to talk to each other but about what and how? It is also difficult to be on the same page. When a difficult event occurs, if the link of what is happening is on a chain (network) for one or more people involved in the situation, the whole thing will become even more difficult to manage. Our ability to think logically decreases significantly (I invite you to read my blog "The Network" on this subject).

I have prepared a little process, a checklist that could help you communicate with family members and support the person with growing needs. Modify it as you see fit to meet your needs. It is not exhaustive and will not work for every situation, but it is a starting point.

I hope it will give you a starting point to begin or continue what needs to be considered.



Desires and emotions of the person concerned

Necessary supports (e.g., shoveling, appointments, garbage cans, company). Details: frequency, duration

Abilities of the person concerned (will VS can)

Negotiate' during the meeting. Wishes' in relation to what is reasonable and possible

Who can/wants to help (extended family, neighbors, hire...)

Organize a meeting

Before: everyone can make a list of what he/she can do/time he/she can devote/ frequency


*involve the person concerned

*Who to invite so that the person concerned does not feel stifled. We can approach other people afterwards (such as extended family, neighbors who can provide services...)

*Find a neutral place?

*who will take the lead?

During the meeting:

*Set an atmosphere of trust

*Stay on topic (how to do it)

*Everyone must have a voice but with the same objective

*Focus on the positive

*Note who is committed to what

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